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These songs are a tribute to surviving cancer.
How Good it Feels"I'm just luckier than some of them."
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Rest Of My Life"How long must I walk upon the wire? How long til I fall into the fire?"
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How Good It Feels is a song about surviving. Surviving leukemia, that is. I was 38 years old, married with a young son 2 1/2 years old, and was trying to do too much, be everything to everyone. I started getting sick a lot, feeling weak, having night sweats. Somehow, I lost 25 pounds and did not realize it. Diagnosed with AML (acute mylogenous leukemia) on January 14th 1994, I entered the hospital for chemotherapy, then had my world rocked again at 4:30 am Monday, when the Northridge earthquake struck. After two more rounds of chemo, full-body radiation and an autologous bone-marrow transplant, I returned home after 6 months of hospital stints, and a 45% chance of surviving. Oddly, I never believed I was going to die, yet at the same time, had accepted that I very well might. In this song, I declare "how good it feels to be back home"; making it "back home" simply meant staying alive, and not dying. This is an upbeat song, for sure. The minor chord that ends it is my salute to all those who did not make it.
How Good It Feels I've been away but I have not traveled I've been laid so low I've heard death's rattle Oh, I can't tell you. (Oh, I can't tell you) How good it feels to be back-- Oh, I can't tell you. (Oh, I can't tell you) How good it feels to be back home. On the island of Cancer you live without a song. Some make it home; some don't live very long. I'm just luckier than some of them. I've been changed and I have been shaken, I have taken blood from a stranger. I have walked in the shadow, And oh, I can't tell you How good it feels to be back-- How good it feels to be back-- How good it feels to be back home. This is an upbeat song, for sure. The minor chord that ends it is my salute to all those who did not make it.
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The Rest of My Life: Surviving leukemia was great, but it got complicated as time went by. You see, with every day that went by, I realized that at any moment I could relapse, and if I did, I would probably die. I understood then that all I had was "the rest of my life", however long--or short--that might turn out to be. The Rest of My Life I have heard the knocking at my door. I have read the writing on the wall. In the coal mine of cancer, watching the canary dancing The rest of my life. How long must I walk upon the wire? How long 'til I fall into the fire? It may be soon, it may be never, but when I go I'm gone forever. Falling, Falling It's sundown, I'll be around The rest of my life I'm falling. Yes, I'm falling. Sundown. I really really don't wanna die. I really really don't wanna die. I really really don't wanna die. No. In this song, I am expressing the suspense, the limbo where I felt that I dwelled, of simply not knowing. Lots of people say that everybody runs the same risk of being hit by a bus at any moment. But the chances of that are small; on the other hand, my chances of dying were better than 50%. Anytime could be my time to go. A weird yet beautiful irony governs my existence. I could die at any time, but no matter what, I will always have the rest of my life, which, when you say it like that, sounds long enough. It’s sundown. I’ll be around the Rest of My Life. But still, I’m scared of death–who isn’t? Indeed, once in remission from the cancer, I dwelled in the limbo of not knowing if or when I might relapse. And so a weird irony set in in my existence: I could die at any time, but no matter what, I would always have "the rest of my life", which when you put it that way, sounds pretty good. But still, for me, it's always "Sundown. The Rest of My Life".
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